Salvation
by Kidagakashantelast
Summary: The last thoughts of a lost cause, Professor Quirrell.


Salvation

(_This is just a one-shot. I don't plan to continue on the subject, I felt that this person was horribly mistreated as a character. He deserved far more. He deserved life. He deserved the truth, told to all._)

Oh God!

Oh God it hurts! Oh God…

What's happening…to me!

Where am I? Somebody help!

It hurts…hurts…

Who am I? Why does it hurt? I can- no, I… There was…a train. Am I on it? I think so; it's becoming so hard to tell. Are these even my memories? Yes, yes there I am… heading off to- to- somewhere…I really don't recall. I found…something. Something bad there…

Him!

That's where? Quirrell! My name then? My- Quirinus Quirrell, yes…that's right…yes.

Oh God! Ripping, what's going on! I can't see…pain…

Where? The train? No, left that…Him! Damn! My mind…my mind I-

He took it, didn't even see him coming, damn mission! Damn Fudge! Couldn't move, he forced my face, body, to comply with…everything.

School? School, yes! Hogwarts…took me back there. I tried to get away; I didn't want him there. My students were there! My students! Not near them no! Locked in a corner of my own soul, can't get out…couldn't move. People pass…

Don't they see! I'm different! Something's wrong! Tell Dumbledore! Tell anyone! Help! Why can't you see? I didn't act like that, sure I'd only taught for three years prior, but can't they tell! I'm not me! But I'm still here! Help me!

Oh God.

Potter? Wha- Oh! Potter, with the new Weasley, yes… He wants Potter! Wants him dead. No! Tell Dumbledore!

Pain.

Every time I think to tell the headmaster…pain. Him! He thinks its funny! He laughs when I break down, now that I'm broken…He laughed when I tried to fight when I tried to exist again.

Forest? FOREST! I don't want to go! I don't like it! No! Troll? Good God! No! Not near my students! Stop this!

Laughing.

He laughed when I told him to leave the troll outside. I don't act like that! No! It's not…me? Is it? No. I'm different. I don't scream all the time like that! I'm NOT that pathetic. Don't you even wonder about it for a second?

Minerva! You helped me. Helped…start my…classes…I'm not-

It HURTS! Ithurtsithurtsithurstithurts…

Minerva? Am I different? Gave me lots of funny looks but didn't say…anything. Nothing. Help me.

Protect something…don't know. Rock? Glows…stone! Sorcerers Stone!

Him!

He wants it no! Don't let me near it! See! Something's wrong with me don't let me near it! Laughing…he sees it…wants. Do I? No! I don't want it!

Severus! Not friends…maybe but…Severus! Help! You know! You know! TELL DUMBLEDORE! What's stopping you? What stopped…suspicion? Slammed me up against…wall…few times.

"_Where do your loyalties lie, Quirrell? Think!"_

With…you? I- yes. You, Dumbledore, Minerva…yes with you but…

Him! Still there? Severus, don't leave! Use something, anything! Veritaserum! YES! In public! Truth! Use it…me…

Laughing.

Pretty. Silver? Uni…corn? Unicorn! NO! Don't make me! I don't want it! No! I don't want to kill! No, please! Please, please, please…don't want to drink it…no-

PAIN! Fire! Aaaugh! It hurts me! Stop! Make it STOP!

Groggy. Brooms? Hooch?…quidditch? My mouth…moving. Not me. I- NO! I don't want to kill him! Stop! He's just a child what can he do to harm you? I- Severus? Counter charm? Severus! Yes! Watch…see…me but not…me. Tell.

Out of order…feel…students know…Percy knows something's not…right. Percy? Good…student, yes! Percy! Tell someone!

No?

Why won't anybody say anything? I- Dumbledore! There! Talking to me! See! Wrong…with me. Help me! Helpmehelpmehelpme please, please, please… DON'T LEAVE! Don't leave me!

Laughing. Him.

Using me…

Help me!

Sick…going to be sick…turban? Ugh…stupid. Can't they see? I wouldn't…not something that stupid…purple…

My hair… gone? Yes? Gone…

Aaaaugh! I- Aaaugh! HURTS! Help me!

My mind…locked… Minerva? No. Cat. Minerva? Yes! Help! I- No! Don't leave! Weird…look. Then….leave me? I'm not. Me.

Him!

Stairs? Door? Third fl- No! Not supposed to be here! Leave! Can't be here. Dog! Freakin' big dog! Dogs? Three…heads…oh.

Blur…vines and keys…the keys…beautiful… Troll? Wha- he put here? Him! No! Stop! Somebody! Anybody!

Laughing.

Bottles? Fire…black fire…through.

Mirror? Mirror…No! Can't let him get it! He doesn't see what I see. Uses my mouth…mutters…I hear…I see…different…freedom.

Noise? Step?

Potter?

_"It was you!"_

_"Yes,"_

NO!

_"It was me."_

No! Not me, NO! Help! Help! Not me! HIM!

_"But I thought…Snape?"_

_"Severus? Yes he does seem the type doesn't he? So useful to have him swooping around like an overgrown bat."_

No…me…I'm not this but…still here. Potter.

Why?

Laughing. He thinks its funny. Make it look like I…wanted…? No! I don't want to be here! He's making it look! He's…making me look…deatheater.

Please! Not…me! Help me! Reaching…? No! I don't want…hurt him! It burns! He feels it? Yes! Again! Still screaming, both…faces…mine…his…Making me look like…monster.

It HURTS! Oh GOD! My b-body? What? HELP! Ripping. Tearing? Aaaaugh! Not…body! Soul! MY soul! Stop! STOP!

Stop…

No.

Empty. He took…

He…

My soul… to sustain…Help me…Dumbledore…

Mom…Dad…  
Help me.

_"I'm sorry Quirinus."_

Dumbledore! Here! See! HELP ME! Please help me! Save me!

_"We can't risk you finding him again."_

What?…What? Not…me I-

_"Goodbye Quirinus."_

NO! Gasping…hurts…I- No! NO! Not me! It wasn't! Help me, PLEASE! Dumbledore, help me! Pl-

_Professor Dumbledore straightened, stepping away from the still form. Turning slowly, he retrieved the small, warm, red stone from the floor and placed it in his pocket._

_"Wingardium Leviosa."_

_The Potter boy's limp body lifted into the air. Feeling strangely lightheaded, Dumbledore ascended the small staircase, glancing back once at the pitiful figure, crumpled in a heap in front of the mirror. He shook his head sadly, and departed. _


End file.
